Newspapers / The Fool-Killer (Pores Knob, … / March 1, 1921, edition 1 / Page 1
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Volume XI. Hard-ing Times Well, Mister, I reckon I'd better be gin And spin you. the best that I'm able to spin, From the musical guts of my poetry mill, About the- big doin's on Capitol Hill. The time has arriv, in the course of events, For the big-bellied breed of political gents To come, with their bellies like soap grease tubs, And turn out the Cratsi nd put in the Pub&. When they all get there on Inaugural Day, The Republican gang will be feeling so gay That they won't even look; at the Dem ocrat crowd As they stand around with their heads all bowed. They're going to unhitch the old wind- broken mule That never did nothing but act like a fool. - And hitch in a steer that the bosses have broke To f aithfullv null in Bier Businesses yoke. The Democrat mule will be turned out to graze On political stubble the rest of his : days,. And ther Pubs and the devil will go in cahoots, And the world will still be safe for the Plutes. We have had HarcLTimes for a right smart while, L - But it's Hard-ing Times that are now in style,, And it won't be long till the "i-n-g" Will mean "e-r" for you and -me. JAMES LARKIN PEARSON February Issu 3 Pleased 'Em. The February issue of The Fool-Killer was a bigger r 'hit" with the readers than anything I have sent out lately. You just ought to see the letters I' ve been getting about it. The demand has been so great that all the extra copies are gone, and the subs have been simply POURING ini This (March) issue is not quite up to my standard, but I've got some more, everlasting hot truck on the hook for April. Boomer, North Carolina, March," 1921. WHAT'S THE HATTER? Plenty work to do. Plenty of men to do it. Plenty of machinery standing ready. - Plenty of raw material. Plenty of people needing the finished product. Plenty-of money to pay for it! witn. in And yet everything is as dead as the dickens. Millions of men are out of work. Thousands of shops are closed; People are suffering for the necessities of life. " Can you locate the trouble ? If you can't,,! can;- '- ' ; Here it is: The international tangle of Big Business got the affairs" of the world in such shape that the Big Ikes couldn t make quite as much profit as they had been making, and so they decided to knock off for awhile. Profit is the only thing to be considered; Profit for the Piute. The needs of the world no not count. The idleness, nakedness, hun ger and suffering do not count. All these things must take a back seat and let the Big Ike s profit be considered first. What we need in this world is a system of government that will think first of the happiness and comfort of the people. Then we would never be troubled with such conditions as this. But we are such tarnation fools that we never seem to learn anything. mm - inis is snore-to-firoodness a crazy world any way you look at it. For instance, it gives one man $40,000 for a Nobel Peace Prize, and then turns right around and gives another man $100,000 for a prize fight. Again, if gives $33,000,000 to feed the starving children of Europe, and at the same time gives fifty times that much to build battleships and other war Lcontrapshuns to produce more suffering and starvation.. Every so-called "statesman" on earth ought to be in the criminal in sane ward of the bug house, anyhow. A TIP FOB THE ALLIES Hooray!- Whoop-to-Glory ! ; Here is the Big Idea! I have all the while been- sor ter partial to the Bolsheviks, but here is where I am going to give them away. I am going to tell the Allied StatesmeiTan ab solutely sure way to put the eternal booger-hooks on Lenine and Trotsky, and then if they don't make use of the plan it won't be my fault, and thev needn t come snivelling around me any -more with their pitiful whine about the kussed Bolshe viks. . Now prop your old floppy ears open ancL liateoiigoodx.-k, . - You know how bad the Allies want the Bolsheviks whipped. You know they have "recogniz ed"- tour or five different Rus sian generals that were trying to lead little rag-tag rebellions against Lenine. I can't remera- t i ii . " oer an tneir names just now, but the last one was General Wrangel. And it wasn't three weeks after these different up- A 11 i in 11 starts got xneir Allied recog nition" pinned on good till they were down and out. One followed another into the discard -fust like throwing dead cats into a mill-pond. Then came Wrangel, and he was going to be the Mos es certain. But he went the same way and wasn't long about it. It seems, therefore, that Al lied "recognition" of any Rus sian leader is as fatal as hanging. And it does seem strange to me that they have never thought about trying it "on the Bolshe viks. ; Thar now ! The secret is out! Every day for more than three years now we have read in the daily papers that the Bol shevik government in Russia was "tottering" and "crumb ling," and that it couldn't hold out much longer. But the funny part about it is the Bolshevik ! government is still standing and j is today the strongest and most I solvent government in Europe, i Evidently it is going to take more than newspaper ; lies to overthrow the Bolsheviks. Number 1. If Abe Could Know Today if Lincoln's spirit were here as the . united nation cele brates his birthday, it must be that he would find his greatest joy in seeing how all the Statesr both North and South, are jom- ed in a singleness of devotion? and effort in raising thirty-three million dollars for the ministry of love to three and a half million little children whose appeal of suffering has found such a hearty response in every part of America. Literary Digest- That all sounds very bong swong, as Postle Paul says, but suppose Lincoln's spirit should happen to read the February Fool-Killer and learn that while the whole nation is just tearing its biled shirt trying to raise a few millions for the starving children, the Congress of the United States was appropriating over A BILLION DOLLARS to build battleships and equip arm ies to kill more fathers and leave more starving orphans? What do you suppose Lincoln would think about that? Honest, gentlemen, it is at fine thing that Lincoln's "spir it" cannot know what -is going on in this country now. If it could, there would be some of the tallest spiritual cussing that you ever heard tell of. The much talked of "union of the churches" seems to make rather slow progress. Sorter like mixing a hundred and fifty' dif ferent kinds of dirt to test out a new patent soap. The Supreme Court says the sentence against Berger was wrong and unjust. Now why. don't it open its judicial -mouth and say some thing like thai about the Debs case? And now the goody-goods are getting up another scare about the stage and the movies poking fun at the preachers. Well, that's about all some of them are fit for. If the preachers- want to stand high in the estimation of the people they will have to cut out some of their devilized the- . 0logy. The people are not all fcols I vet. .
The Fool-Killer (Pores Knob, N.C.)
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March 1, 1921, edition 1
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